Over the last year I often wondered how helpful it really is to express my most raw emotions on such a public forum. I have upset my poor mother, insighted worry about the state of my emotional health and laid bare some of my most private joys, fears and sorrow. Browsing through previous blogs have revealed a trend... I am eaither full of optimism and hope for the future or angry and resentful about my experience.
People say that the first year of grief is the hardest to face. It has been an insane and chaotic time in my life. I am reminded daily by dear friends that I try my best to stay in touch with, how different my life should be. It is not their fault that they remind me so. It is just a fact of life. Matthew and I are not alone in the burden we share, you do not get through life without tragedy and pain. That is also a fact.
A wise woman told me the other day that I should not allow myself to become bitter. It is sometimes difficult to remind myself of all the beauty that life offers in exchange for this hardship. Those who manage to accept this balance are rewarded with peace in their souls for the path they've chosen. That is what I wish for myself and those I love.
I wish you balance and peace in your soul cousin.
ReplyDeleteI think it is important, Lynds, that regardless of what you are feeling at any given moment - whether it be optimism, anger, sadness - that you embrace that emotion for what it is and where it comes from. No one can ever tell you that what you are feeling is wrong, regardless of the circumstances, because it is how YOU feel.
ReplyDeleteToo many people put on a front. They pretend to be happy and optimistic all the time, when deep inside they hurt for things too. No one is perfect and no one is free from sadness, but it is those of us that openly admit that we are having problems that are more likely to recieve the support we need.
When you share those things sometimes people take it the wrong way or make assumptions about where you are coming from, but that is not their place. If they love you it is their place to help you deal with it (not get over it, but deal). That is what I hope I am able to do for you.
I sure do love you.
I sure do love you too sister.
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