BBQ

Kids are awesome! I love the experience of knowing a child from the time they are in their mom's belly til they're wearing big kid pants and telling you wise things about their lives. For some reason these kids love me(and others) unconditionally, without reserves. My little Breezy (who hide from me the entire time my dear friend Cori was pregnant) is so whip smart! She shared an epiphany with me tonight, "Lyndsey, did you know that everyone has a mom? That means that we're all kids!"

I stress about my mom stressing about me but that wise statement from the mouth of a 4 year old made me realize that when you raise a child from birth to adulthood, they are always your baby. All of us pooped our diaper and smiled at people that think we're cute and grew with our parents love.

I am almost scared to take that on, considering that I was on the brink of that committment and thought I was ready for it. No one is ready for it but I also had the realization that I was made for that job, that I love babies and kids too. I was meant to be a mom. My whole life, I have wondered what I should do with the gift that is my life, my personality, my talents. Raising a child is not my only goal but it is what I need to feel complete.

I'm not going to rush or pressure myself, it's going to happen when it's meant to, just like my Silas existed to change the way that everyone he was connected to look at their lives. I don't buy into the sinner v. christian perspective but I do believe that things happen for a reason and every interaction with a fellow human being teaches you something about yourself. How lucky we all are....