My mama asked me this question today, 'How do you feel?' . Well, she asks me this question quite frequently but today my answer was different. It was true. I feel awesome today, I am excited about the future for so many reasons... We are almost done with the fence, I am getting a new car, we are trying for another baby, work was fun, my house is beautiful. I could go on and on! I am happy, right now, at this very moment. I am excited about the future, and I have an excellent summer to look forward to.
That led me to this epiphany... If we could go back to my life in 2009, to Lyndsey being the wife of a college stuudent (and heavy drinker), and ask my 2009 self where I would want to be at that moment, I think that 2009 Me would have wanted to be right here. I wanted to be settled, I wanted my own home, I wanted to be thinking about starting a family. If you were to erase the sadness of losing Silas from my life and put me in this same place, would I be happy? The answer is yes.
The crazy thing is that I would not be here without the experience of having and losing my child. He is what pushed us to buy our home. He was the reason for our growth as a couple and as adults. He brought us together and showed us our strengths. Because of Silas, I am happy even though I am sad.
Praise the Lord! I am so happy for you both and am excited for your future :) I pray blessings on you both. You have been on my mind a lot lately so many things I learned lately that I hope to share with you one day :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that this is awesome.
ReplyDeleteAND... you have a new car!!! Woo hoo! I'm so happy for you, Lynds. Sometimes it takes us a little while to get back to feeling "ok". It doesn't mean we never will or that we won't have set backs and sadness every now and again, but it means we made it that far. I love you!
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