My mama asked me this question today, 'How do you feel?' . Well, she asks me this question quite frequently but today my answer was different. It was true. I feel awesome today, I am excited about the future for so many reasons... We are almost done with the fence, I am getting a new car, we are trying for another baby, work was fun, my house is beautiful. I could go on and on! I am happy, right now, at this very moment. I am excited about the future, and I have an excellent summer to look forward to.
That led me to this epiphany... If we could go back to my life in 2009, to Lyndsey being the wife of a college stuudent (and heavy drinker), and ask my 2009 self where I would want to be at that moment, I think that 2009 Me would have wanted to be right here. I wanted to be settled, I wanted my own home, I wanted to be thinking about starting a family. If you were to erase the sadness of losing Silas from my life and put me in this same place, would I be happy? The answer is yes.
The crazy thing is that I would not be here without the experience of having and losing my child. He is what pushed us to buy our home. He was the reason for our growth as a couple and as adults. He brought us together and showed us our strengths. Because of Silas, I am happy even though I am sad.
